Wednesdays. We spend Wednesdays in the garden.
The weather is getting hot.
Sometimes we are drenched in sweat before we even get there; but, we go!
We like to feed the horses and look at the cattle along the way, sometimes there are calves,
As we ride along the river there are magpie geese, and egrets, sometimes whistling ducks.
Today it was hot! I felt tired, things felt wrong... I wanted to leave but persisted.
We have friends at the garden and it feels bad to desert them but the energy felt wrong and my heart said no,
It's like getting out of bed on the wrong side or wearing your clothes inside out...
We stayed. I felt like the sun had already drained me. There were feelings of anxiety and uneasiness around.
We stayed... but our hearts weren't in it! I was covered in ants, they bit, I welted! I became dehydrated, the kids dropped their tadpoles on the dry earth and everything began to feel really crappy.
We struggled to move heavy things, we dug holes and chipped away at claystone, shards of coffee rock sprayed our faces as the mattock forced it from the ground, sweat dripped, vision blurred, head thumping... drink as much as you can! The pond wouldn't fit no matter how hard I bashed the rock. Somebody said it's facing the wrong way... OK, no problem how would you like it? (I could shove it sideways for you if I had the energy!... I didn't have the energy!) Big f-----g Deal I thought, what's next?
Then someone stood on a piece of tin that had been hiding a baby blue-tongued lizard and I knew the day was lost! Poor thing had a broken back and we tried to carry on as though it was OK.
It wasn't OK.The lizard was badly hurt and will die. I said kill it, somebody said no... What can you do? The lizard will die, we all die! We shouldn't have killed the lizard, we should have been listening... We weren't.
My mate Dan got some new teeth. Teeth are important, it's good to have teeth. They can chomp food and also make you look better when you smile, people stare when you have a gaping hole where teeth should be... I know because I do... I stare.
Some of my teeth are gone. I won't get them back? What does it mean to loose teeth? Death. That's all. It's only a sign that we are dying. We're all dying so what's the big deal? I'm glad I won't have a head full of perfectly good teeth when I die. What would they be good for? Some people pay big money to have their teeth straightened. Just to look good! True! Why leave this place without a few dents and scratches? Surely we need something to carry with us into old age. To show the senile and forgetful that we lived! Something cool to show the kiddies. What about the stories? I wonder what the tooth fairy would pay me for that chunk that fell out the other day?
Some days you've just got to find a place in the shade, sit down and find let the spirit rest, listen. Dadirri!
Down in Melbourne they buried a family friend. It's OK to mourn! Sometimes it's all we really should be doing! 100s went to his funeral and celebrated his life.
Now I'm home, cooled off and relaxed, sunburned neck and nose. Enjoying a cool glass of water. Water is precious, lovely and sweet.