Showing posts with label cancer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cancer. Show all posts

Thursday, July 18, 2019

Stooping, sharing and citrus

As far back as I can remember there has always been a lemon tree

Lemonade apparently

When I was a kid I learned from our Italian neighbors that lemons like urine, so it was regular practice for the boys both sides of the fence to wee on the tree. It was a matter of pride that our trees were well watered. The lemon tree was a valued contributor to suburban community life. (Yes there actually was such a thing as a 'suburban community' back then, street cricket, cubbies in the trees, billy carts down the hill etc... etc...)



Where I come from the unspoken rule has always been, nobody pays for lemons. In fact it would be a poor person indeed who would have to resort to actually purchasing lemons from the shop. After all who wouldn't know at least one person who has a tree with a few fruits to share?

In some places they use the phrase "Big name no blanket" to indicate that someone has put too much significance on their own self importance but neglected the social and personal responsibility of caring for theirs and others basic needs. Well here you could easily apply same logic, "Big name no lemons".



I recall as a child accidentally bumping into our tree and apologizing as if it were a person. It seemed a perfectly normal thing to do. Many years later a Malaysian colleague told me about the communal mango trees in her village. She was taught by her father never to disturb the tree at night, don't pick fruit or cut the wood, don't even shake the foliage at night, respect the tree. 

Many changes have occurred in our family home after I left about 24 years ago. The old lemon tree had to be removed but Mum and Dad planted more in another spot along the side fence.

Every time I visit my family in Melbourne I am amazed at the productivity of Mum and Dad's lemon trees. They have a few varieties, I don't know what they are, they're lemons, there's lots of them... one is called Lemonade. 

Slim garden bed produces tons of fruit
There are four trees growing in a patch of dirt about 80cm wide between a brick path and the neighbors fence. Each year they are brutally hacked back to a few rough stems and every year they bounce back producing biggest mobs of golden fruit.


Mum with another bag of fruit to give away

My parents have been living in the same house in Melbourn's northern suburbs for 51 years. When they moved in the street was mostly dirt and surrounded with paddocks (where we used to collect black berries and mushrooms... another story). As the neighborhood became more populated people would share back yard vegetables, it was normal to have someone knock on the door with a bag full of silver beet, rhubarb, tomatoes or plums. Nobody ever paid for lemons.


Time has rolled on and the neighborhood has changed, new families have moved in others have shifted or passed away. Most keep to themselves but everyone knows my Mum. So it was no surprise to me when we had an appointment at the bank, that she would bring a bag of lemons for her account manager. 

Field mushrooms straight out of the front yard
To what end does she keep holding to these antiquated ways? Talking to strangers, pottering in the garden, giving stuff away... Well about 6 and a half years ago mum was diagnosed with a  very aggressive bowel cancer. It was life threatening and required immediate surgery. After the surgery she was not given a very good prognosis. The surgery took away a large section of her bowel and she suffered a lot. During the weeks and months of her early treatment (Chemo) she received messages and prayers from all over the place. People would bring soups and hot meals for her and my dad (mum lost her apatite for a very long time). There seemed to be no end to the generosity of friends and neighbors. Mum hated being laid up and she endured a couple of years of being physically knocked out by chemo and the impact of the cancer on her body. But now 6 years later I come to visit and find her pottering in the garden, stooping to pick up fallen lemons and picking mushrooms from the front yard! She has exceeded all expectations.


I don't know what gives people the spirit to keep on going but with mum it must be connected to this drive she has to stoop to pick up the fruit from the ground and the impulse that demands that she should share the abundance she has been blessed with. Because nobody should ever pay for lemons!
Mushrooms and radish




Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Pedaling the dream

Sometimes I get into arguments... my wife reminds me not to get stirred up and importantly, not to cause unnecessary discomfort to others. In frustration, when I used to argue a lot, she would say to me "Do you want to be right? Or do you want to be happy?". I get it I really do get why sometimes it is more important to keep the peace rather than be guided by my pride deeper into a battle of wills with everyone around me. But what about when the argument is not to impose my own opinion on others but to find out. What is the truth?

What if the question became: "Do you want the truth? Or do you want to be happy?"
I'm sure from time to time most of us would prefer to continue believing a beautiful lie than face the ugly truth but does that make the foundation for a whole way of life? Is it even possible to go through life ignoring truth in favor of illusion?

I've just watched a surprising film which, without completely phsycho analizing the situation, takes a look at how Lance Armstrong (The cyclist) managed to deceive cycling fans around the world by claiming not to have used any performance enhancing drugs or blood doping etc... in order to win 7 Tour de France cycle races. He became a national hero in the USA and a champion for people throughout the world who have suffered from cancer. A Hero! I think that word explains a lot. What is a hero? Who makes heroes? Could he have deceived the world if we hadn't actually wanted to be deceived?

The film didn't set out to destroy him, his reputation is already in tatters, but it did provide some insight into just how easily people can be fooled into believing something if they really want to believe it, regardless of the facts.

There were certain themes in George Orwell's book '1984' which have bitten deeply into me and won't let go! Whenever I sense an issue becoming a matter of 'popular opinion' I brace myself to be engulfed by psychic bubble of delusion. Opinions abound, uninformed opinions, affirmed by mass media and confirmed by one eyed reports narrowly channeled quoting limited sources, asserted portions of some half-baked notion. Brought to you on morning news TV but your opinion counts so your Tweets are entered into the mix! And the story always resolves to support the righteousness of the mob. Truth is not the objective, compliance as always, the primary directive, masses conforming to the approved narrative packaged and distributed through 1,000 news aggregates and passed off as fact. Simple and dramatic is the imperative, someone to condemn, someone to pity, someone to shame and despise... Us and them... If you ain't with us you're against us and on she rolls, The News. The clamor for approval and togetherness and "Are you Happy now?"

Truth? What is truth?

We are a herd animal, we naturally seek approval and acceptance of others. For our survival, social cohesion is undeniably important. Why would anyone choose to swim against the current? Under these conditions who would choose to oppose the herd? There are names for those who stupidly prefer to seek truth rather than acceptance. Heretic... Traitor... Fool etc...

But when she asks me "Do you want to be right? or do you want to be happy?" I have to bite my tongue, I keep my answer to myself!