A funny thing happened to me on the way to work this morning.... I didn't GO!
Nothing much has changed over the past few weeks... The work load at my job has finally reduced but I am realizing that the combination of unmanageable responsibilities and expectations over the past weeks.. (possibly months actually) has caused me to blow a gasket! I'm shot! Little things are too hard!
One more person knocking on my door
...hide behind the desk but I hear them call
There is no room in here at all
The window's too far for me to crawl...
I don't care now if I fall.
Careful they might hear me!
I gasp for breath above the paper bills
electronic debt kills
The stressed office boy puts down his quil
and the finance guy pops another pill
This sure aint what I thought it would be!
Greedy eyes and needy faces...
they stand in packs... jostling for places
Spouting blessings but stealing graces.
In this world, there's no empty spaces!
Needing wanting demanding, appearing..
They rise like hills and block like mountains!
The numbers rise as virtue dies
I tremble and shudder when I realize
to continue will be my demise
It's too late to halt the red mist
It clouds my eyes and screws my mind!
Cargo cult conspirators
Grab for more but choke on Coco-Cola dreams!
The heat is rising in this place.
God give me shade!
(We sit in the shade thankful for the trees at Sunset Park)
Today I didn't go to work. Instead I went for a ride with Sam and the kids. We rode down to sunset park and found some lovely shade! Proper natural shade from a tree! In the dry season you can sit in the shade of a tree and feel much cooler than in the sun. A cool off shore breeze blew across the grass, damp from recent watering and we lay on our rug as the kids played on the swing.
Whhhhheeewwwwwhhhh.... a long breath out. The phone hasn't rung for over an hour... I'm starting to relax and realize how worn out I really am! Sam is too. But I think I broke something this time. I know Ive gotta find some more shade... Big One Shade! Not that crap that filters through that synthetic shade cloth with a price attached to it! Not some 15 minute intermission! Real Shade... Tree Shade... Soul Shade!