Social F*!#ING Media

A Post Script to my F*#BOOK friends

Just another Anonymous friend

Recently I shut down my f*!#book account... Again!

It was re-opened, reluctantly, because I was continually finding that information I wanted was only available via that particular platform. But now I've decided... to hell with that crap!

OK. For diplomacy and to suck up to those of you I didn't really mean to upset or insult or dump here's a quick explanation...  For my real 'friends'  ;)

Firstly if you discovered that you were 'unfriended' by me, never mind, you haven't actually lost a friend. Chances are we weren't really friends anyway, maybe just someone I wanted others to know that I know, or someone who asked to be my friend and I was too polite to say no... or someone I was friends with in the past who found me when I didn't really want to be found but I stupidly accepted a friend request out of curiosity to see what you were doing with your life since we last saw each other... Or maybe I added you just to increase the number of people in my friends list so I wouldn't appear to be such a Nigel. (Nigel no mates)... But if we were actually friends that's OK too because you would know that there is no such thing as being unfriended! That's just a dumb ass word made up by the pricks who invented the airless universe you may still be subscribing to. If you're feeling bored or lonely for someone to talk to take a look out your window, you might see me riding my bike around in circles waiting for you to come out and play...  If you get a cold empty feeling while you wait for your latest app to download come out and have a yarn. The back blocks are empty and there's plenty of places left to explore, we can pinch fruit from the neigbours trees, hide from the rain in a cave on the beach or just piff  a few yonnies at some tin cans at the side of the road...

Popularity? I'm sorry to say I'm not nearly as popular as I wanted you all to think I am. The majority of you weren't actually my friends, as if you didn't already know... To set the record straight, I didn't have many friends on faecesbook, I think there were about 60, which by internet standards is pretty low... The fact is though that I actually never had that many friends, not ever, not even a fraction of that number. Are friends so easy to find that you can accumulate them by simply clicking a mouse and posting a few flattering remarks? I tried but they weren't, not really.

Finding long lost friends. I happened to link up with a few people from my past, people I spent my youth with. I friended them and was reunited with all the ignorant, bigoted, racist small minded crap I was surrounded by 20 years ago!

I discovered my old Tech school in the pages of The book. A grim reminder of violence, abuse, criminality and a my disgracefully Bogan heritage. Flicking through the long list of old class mates I was astonished by endless images of V8 muscle cars, Southern Cross Tatoos, empty whiskey bottle collections and drunken party snapshots... 

Causes... All the worthy causes I followed. My account was packed to the rafters with worthy causes... I joined them all, every one of them representing something real in the world desperately in need of protection from the voracious appetite of greedy folks. I posted them on my wall where they added to the din among the plethora of everybody else's special charity. What ever happens with all those petitions and appeals?  

None of it's real!

So, I wrote you a heartfelt goodby letter, posted it on my wall and left it there for about an hour. Then I unfriended everyone and slipped quietly out of that particular matrix without disturbing the water of your consciousness. Gone. Maybe you noticed your friend count dropped by one and you felt a little self conscious or even paranoid that there are people out there who don't like you... Don't worry I would never be so cruel in any other world.

 

 Gill Gets the last word