Wednesday, November 15, 2017


Flamingo garden ornaments! 

WTF! I do not like Flamingos. 

Flamingo - jammed into branches of a bush at Emerald Springs Roadside Inn
I don't know exactly why I don't like them but I am quite sure I do not like them.
I do not like their backwards facing knees and their long legs. I do not like their long bendy necks. I do not like their bizarre scum filtering bills and I do not like they all walk around in a big group with their heads bobbing up and down like a team of synchronized swimmers stuck in a wading pool! 

Flamingos are very odd and kind of stupid looking birds! I know this sounds so cruel and uncharitable, I cringe at my own belligerent prejudice. I can appreciate they are a highly evolved animal that is capable of surviving in a very harsh environment. And I can also see them as Gods creatures that I have no business despising, but when I look at a flamingo all I see is a dumb creature that sucks hot putrid scum through its repulsive deformed looking beak. 

I noticed this attitude quite a while ago while watching a nature documentary and then fairly soon after watching a David Attenborough special… 
I realized I have a repulsion to these graceful pink birds. Then I thought about the bizarre practice some people have of keeping statues of them on their lawns and in their gardens! Where did this fetish come from? Why do people do it? 
More than the actual birds, which have a God given right to exist in their own right, I hate lawn Flamingos! I think it might be the peculiar cognitive connection people seem to have which links this brine swilling wasteland bird with sublime tropical paradise lifestyle. The fantasy does not match reality! I think above all else this self delusional association is what truly bugs me about the FLAMINGO!

Now I am feeling an overwhelming compulsion to take photos and document all the flamingo effigies I see. It’s such a weird obsession, I've resisted it for a couple of years but now I have decided, I want to document flamingos.

Is this some weird fetish? An intense ambivalence? Drawn to obsess for this object I detest! Am I losing my mind? Is this normal?

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