Showing posts with label comedy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label comedy. Show all posts

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Backyard Bivouac



Last night I had some fun with the kids in the back yard. We build a cubby house, or to be more accurate, a bivouac.
A bivouac is a temporary shelter made out of whatever you can find close by.
It's the middle of the school holidays and the kids have actually been playing outside and as human nature dictates they're obsessed with building a shelter... It's instinctive, if you leave a kid outside for long enough they will start gathering stuff and build a house!
I wanted my dinner but my eldest child started to throw a wobbly because I had to dismantle the tent we had in the yard. We thought about it for a little while, looked around the yard, and this is what we came up with.
 
 


 Materials: 
- folding ladder
- 6 x 6 tarp
- two bamboo poles (taken from the veggie garden which was not doing too well anyway)
- 5 pieces of string 
- 3 tent pegs
- couple of cushions

Time taken:
6 minutes
 
Presto! The best bivouac we've ever made. Dad's popularity rating leaps from tolerated buffoon to beloved hero parent no.1 in record time. We actually had to call the kids into the house long after dark! I couldn't believe it!

Living in the  tropics I think this quote is fairly apt:

Bivouac
Bivouacking is miserable work in a wet or unhealthy climate, but in a dry and healthy one, there is no question of it's superiority over tenting. Men who sleep habitually in the open breathe fresher air and are far more imbued with the spirit of wild life, than those who pass the night within the stuffy enclosure of a tent.

The art of Travel.
 (Quoted by Tahir Shah in the book 'House of the Tiger King-The quest for a lost Inca City'. )

When I was young some mates and I used to sleep out in the bush a bit in a fairly makeshift shelter. Mostly made out of branches but we could usually find a bit of tin for the roof. It was a bit unnerving though when we discovered scorpions under our groundsheet!
Since then I haven't done much rough camping although I've been lucky enough to visit Elcho Island during the dry season to attend a Cross Cultural Mediation Program, where I much prefer to sleep outside under the stars than to share a tent with 4 other smelly participants. I've slept on the ground, It's pretty comfortable on the cliff edge or on the ceremonial beach sand after a few hours of dancing! Usually though once the tents are set up, I grab my fold out bed (Bloody luxury!) and set it up a couple of meters away from the tents and keep all my gear on top so it doesn't blow away when the dry wind sweeps across the island during the day. The nights are absolutely magic outside I don't get why the others don't do it. I always hear them complaining when someone farts or snores. From my bed I look up through the stars and into the eyes of God! True! Out doors is so much sweeter than indoors... unless it's the wet season.




Murray's bivouac - Flight of the Conchords
Bivoac.What a funny word. Kids love turning the house inside out and turning the furniture into tunnels, caves and of course bivouacs. I used to do this as a kid but if you're a fan of Flight of the Conchords you'll know that this even adults can have fun making a bivouac indoors. ;) 
Ever since I saw Series two, episode 4 of  'Flight of the Conchords', the word bivouac has caused me to break into hysterics! Actually if you're a fan this episode also has the song 'Friends' on it.

In this scene Murray senses that Jermaine and Bret aren't much into building bivouacs. He asks in all seriousness: "You think building a bivouac is childish?"
 They do but later you see Jermain perfecting the construction of the bivouac which they didn't dismantle when Murray left. I am lucky. As a parent I can declare the building of indoor bivouacs out of bed sheets and cushions as childish but still engage in the activity if I want to and even get points for being a 'Good Dad'. 

Ha! Happy bivouacking kiddies!




Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Dental cabaret

Teeth again!
I'm sure I've written about my teeth before. Teeth are important we should look after them right!
I'm not on a crusade for dental care I'm just fascinated by the fact that it is possible for people to outlive their teeth, when in ages past, lack of teeth was surely a sign of decrepit obsolescence and senility... anyway I'm not planning to go Yul Brynner on oral hygiene but my new dentist has assured me my teeth would last longer if I flossed... So "...whatever you do! Just..." FLOSS OK!

After loosing a huge chunk of tooth last year the date for my appointment at the Public Dental Clinic has finally arrived! And what time was my appointment you ask... (OK you wouldn't ask that question but let's just pretend you did!)

My appointment was for 2:30! Get it? Two Thirty.... Oh Come ON! Do I have to spell it out for you? "TOOTH HURTEE!" It's a joke! or a pun or something like that! I use it all the time!

It goes like this...
I say - "What time is it?"
You say - "Two thirty".
I say - "Well you'd better go to the dentist then..." Waka Waka Waka"

Ok, so I'm at my Toof hurtee appointment at the free clinic for folks who can't afford a qualified dentist and I meet my Student practitioner... He's a clean cut young fella from Brisbane... maybe Indian descent. He's sitting down with his leg out stretched.
"Good afternoon" He says with a smile. "My name is ------  (I'll call him Dr Teeth) I am a student dentist, as you can see I have a broken foot. Are you happy for me to conduct this consultation today?"
"Oh yeh.." I say... "Hey I could have tripped over that!" Trying to keep the interaction light while noticing that both the Dentist (Student dentist) and his assistant appear so young they could be just a couple of kids wagging school and here for a laugh!

The consultation continues... Dr Teeth inspects my battle scarred choppers and proceeds to list the casualties and those missing in action... Lucky for me you can't get locked up for for tooth neglect! I think he listed 6 as missing! He must have counted the wisdom teeth...
"Better check the floor.. I'm sure I had them when I came in!" 

So it's all going quite well. It's obvious he's not going to get down to business on the smashed tooth so I'm kind of relaxed and enjoying the banter. Dr Teeth tells me about his foot and how he came to Darwin in between rattling off the location and chemical compounds of every filling in my mouth to his assistant. By now I'm kind of enjoying myself, this guy is really light hearted for a dentist! Then he performed a maneuver that nearly caused me to choke on the ex-ray plate in my mouth.

We place the uncomfortable piece of plastic sheath in my mouth... I bite down on it as intended... fighting the urge to gag on the bloody thing... Then Dr Teeth says to me in all seriousness, hold perfectly still while I hop over here and press the button...
I'm sitting up straight focusing on a spot on the wall directly in front of me... not moving a muscle... Then Dr Teeth hops across the room on one leg right past my field of vision! The bastard! If you've ever seen the Centurian Guard in the Life of Brian trying to hold back a laugh... you'll have a pretty good idea of the situation I was in! He presses the button. The photo is taken and I nearly choked on the uncomfortable piece of crap I had in my mouth! It was so funny I couldn't believe it!

Apparently there's a fair bit of work to do and I have to go back in a few weeks! Same Dentist, Same time! I can't wait to see what he comes up with for my next visit! Apparently I'm in line for a root canal and a crown...
Life on a low income is such good value! I could never afford a root canal or to go to the theater... when I was earning more money, now here I am, technically poor(ish) and I'm served cabaret and tooth repair for nothing! Now that I've got the date for my next appointment I'll have to schedule a session at the blood bank for the morning so I can make a day of it...

Wednesday, June 09, 2010

It's a Kaufman kinda day

Ever feel like you're locked in the punch?

I've just watched about 20 clips of Andy Kaufman on Youtube... This version of Man on the Moon with R.E.M and The Boss hits right on the 'bean', that strange twilight zone feeling somewhere between a laugh and a cry!



The sounds of REM and Springsteen together are like two parallel worlds colliding!
Man! Sometimes it's just like that!

Friday, May 18, 2007

Raw Comedy

Last night (after and exhausting day of homework, commuting about 50km, doing three days worth of dishes and entertaining a 3 year old) I took an interrupted 1 hour reprieve. What's on the box tonight! I'm gonna crash. So I lay down switched on the tube and there was actually something cool on! (I'd missed the doco about Spartacus!)

It was 'Raw Comedy' at 9:25pm on the ABC.
Excellent stuff! It was a live recording of a comedy venue in Melbourne and the gags were coming thick and fast! What a way to end the night! Thank goodness for ABC TV!
Comedians are brave! No doubt about it... The tallent last night had us chuckling and cheering! No small feat considdering the moodiness that proceeded it.
I reckon the grumpy librarian/mother should have won a prize though.. The general standard of the comedians was excelent. There was even an entry from the NT, can't remember her name though. :(

Here are the competition results:

Winner
Jonathan Schuster (VIC)
Runner Up:
Aamer Ramaan (VIC)
Raw Recruit Prize for the best first-time Raw entrant:
Jack Druce (NSW)


Aamer, made more of a political statement than really great comedy but he hit the nail on the head so well when he commented on Anglo Australian racism that he just had to get something! I'd love to get a transcript of the show so I can quote the guy!
The question goes through my head every time I see the TV news, commercial network current affairs programs or read our blessed NT news.
Not his exact words but he said something along the lines of:
'Why is it that all I see are white people complaining about everyone else in this country?' Thank GOD! Someone has bravely ridiculed the Anglo centric bullshit we are fed daily! He made some other extremely confronting observations about the Anglo Ausie way of life that are so vulgar and hypocritical that many people would have been stunned to hear them and shamed into squeezing out a self conscious chuckle if only to appear un-offended!
Good on you Aamer, I think you'd make a better diplomat than a terrorist!