I'm sure I've written about my teeth before. Teeth are important we should look after them right!
I'm not on a crusade for dental care I'm just fascinated by the fact that it is possible for people to outlive their teeth, when in ages past, lack of teeth was surely a sign of decrepit obsolescence and senility... anyway I'm not planning to go Yul Brynner on oral hygiene but my new dentist has assured me my teeth would last longer if I flossed... So "...whatever you do! Just..." FLOSS OK!
After loosing a huge chunk of tooth last year the date for my appointment at the Public Dental Clinic has finally arrived! And what time was my appointment you ask... (OK you wouldn't ask that question but let's just pretend you did!)
My appointment was for 2:30! Get it? Two Thirty.... Oh Come ON! Do I have to spell it out for you? "TOOTH HURTEE!" It's a joke! or a pun or something like that! I use it all the time!
It goes like this...
I say - "What time is it?"
You say - "Two thirty".
I say - "Well you'd better go to the dentist then..." Waka Waka Waka"
Ok, so I'm at my Toof hurtee appointment at the free clinic for folks who can't afford a qualified dentist and I meet my Student practitioner... He's a clean cut young fella from Brisbane... maybe Indian descent. He's sitting down with his leg out stretched.
"Good afternoon" He says with a smile. "My name is ------ (I'll call him Dr Teeth) I am a student dentist, as you can see I have a broken foot. Are you happy for me to conduct this consultation today?"
"Oh yeh.." I say... "Hey I could have tripped over that!" Trying to keep the interaction light while noticing that both the Dentist (Student dentist) and his assistant appear so young they could be just a couple of kids wagging school and here for a laugh!
The consultation continues... Dr Teeth inspects my battle scarred choppers and proceeds to list the casualties and those missing in action... Lucky for me you can't get locked up for for tooth neglect! I think he listed 6 as missing! He must have counted the wisdom teeth...
"Better check the floor.. I'm sure I had them when I came in!"
So it's all going quite well. It's obvious he's not going to get down to business on the smashed tooth so I'm kind of relaxed and enjoying the banter. Dr Teeth tells me about his foot and how he came to Darwin in between rattling off the location and chemical compounds of every filling in my mouth to his assistant. By now I'm kind of enjoying myself, this guy is really light hearted for a dentist! Then he performed a maneuver that nearly caused me to choke on the ex-ray plate in my mouth.
We place the uncomfortable piece of plastic sheath in my mouth... I bite down on it as intended... fighting the urge to gag on the bloody thing... Then Dr Teeth says to me in all seriousness, hold perfectly still while I hop over here and press the button...
I'm sitting up straight focusing on a spot on the wall directly in front of me... not moving a muscle... Then Dr Teeth hops across the room on one leg right past my field of vision! The bastard! If you've ever seen the Centurian Guard in the Life of Brian trying to hold back a laugh... you'll have a pretty good idea of the situation I was in! He presses the button. The photo is taken and I nearly choked on the uncomfortable piece of crap I had in my mouth! It was so funny I couldn't believe it!
Apparently there's a fair bit of work to do and I have to go back in a few weeks! Same Dentist, Same time! I can't wait to see what he comes up with for my next visit! Apparently I'm in line for a root canal and a crown...
Life on a low income is such good value! I could never afford a root canal or to go to the theater... when I was earning more money, now here I am, technically poor(ish) and I'm served cabaret and tooth repair for nothing! Now that I've got the date for my next appointment I'll have to schedule a session at the blood bank for the morning so I can make a day of it...