So the subject is raised and I feel this awful retching inside... I don't want to talk about Gratitude! I want to talk about tearing down empires and smashing through illusions and stepping on users... The conversation continued and for the first time in longer than I can remember I couldn't think of anything I felt grateful for... (I am in a Bad way!) I kept my mouth shut fearing I might burst into profanity...
Anyway by the time I went to bed last night I couldn't help feeling grateful for all kinds of things. On my way to work my mind started drifting back to my youth and childhood. I noticed a clumsy kid trudging along to school, head down he stumbled over a fallen branch on the footpath. Then I remembered how much I hated School! I really hated it! I remembered how I felt belittled, humiliated, scared, stupid, clumsy, unwanted....
Then an amazing thing happened, I was filled with gratitude!
I looked straight at that kid as I rode along beside him. I felt sorrow for him (Hey maybe he likes school! It doesn't really matter, in this story he's only a projection of myself at that age!)
- Today, All day, I was grateful that I am not studying and I don't have to go to school! Ha! I am 42 years old and still overjoyed by the prospect of not having to go to school! Having returned to study as a mature age student and even without all that teenaged angst I am now more certain than ever. I don't like school!
- I am also grateful that I'm not a whale!