Gratitude list

After a much needed conversation with some equally baffled individuals yesterday we staggered across the subject of gratitude. That wonderful attitude that is able to keep self centered obsessions and depression at bay.

So the subject is raised and I feel this awful retching inside... I don't want to talk about Gratitude! I want to talk about tearing down empires and smashing through illusions and stepping on users... The conversation continued and for the first time in longer than I can remember I couldn't think of anything I felt grateful for... (I am in a Bad way!) I kept my mouth shut fearing I might burst into profanity...

Anyway by the time I went to bed last night I couldn't help feeling grateful for all kinds of things. On my way to work my mind started drifting back to my youth and childhood. I noticed a clumsy kid trudging along to school, head down he stumbled over a fallen branch on the footpath. Then I remembered how much I hated School! I really hated it! I remembered how I felt belittled, humiliated, scared, stupid, clumsy, unwanted....
Then an amazing thing happened, I was filled with gratitude!

I looked straight at that kid as I rode along beside him. I felt sorrow for him (Hey maybe he likes school! It doesn't really matter, in this story he's only a projection of myself at that age!)

GRATITUDE LIST

1. Today, All day, I was grateful that I am not studying and I don't have to go to school! Ha! I am 42 years old and still overjoyed by the prospect of not having to go to school! Having returned to study as a mature age student and even without all that teenaged angst I am now more certain than ever. I don't like school!
2. I am also grateful that I'm not a whale!

Thank you.