Darkness and light

On the middle day of this working week I took my day off. I am employed to work four days per week but as life has it, I have often given up my day off 
A. because there is always some little thing that needs to be done.
B. I'm a freaking workaholic who doesn't know how to have fun or relax.
(Mostly 'B' I think)

On this day I did not go to my Job. On this day I tried to practice being a human with only one day. It was a long and full day.



Bäparu (funeral) It's been a sad time lately, too many funerals, too many Yolŋu family passed away. I have also lost close friends this year who I know I am grieving and finding it difficult to let go.
Before dawn I had to take Mirriku to the airport, over the past six months she has lost three siblings. This time a Yapa (sister). A lady who I call Yapa, who I first met 12 years ago who I respected and admired.  She was a precious wise woman who has contributed to her community all her life, I cannot mention her name or show a photo but my memory of her sits heavy. I know why bäparu (funeral ceremony) is so important for Yolŋu. Things must be done right.   

The weight of my thoughts sunk in my heart and even my legs felt heavy and unwilling to move.

Doubt: I wasn't sure exactly what I would do but I knew I must get out of the house and not go to work! There had been a full moon and the nights were getting hot, I don't think I got enough sleep last night. Take it easy, no hurry.

Visual splendor: I took the coast road again and soon found myself crossing the Rapid creek bridge. The tide was high; It's always nice here at high tide. I gazed down at the creek, the red sand, the aqua tinted depth of the creek was clear enough to see Longtoms swimming effortlessly against the outgoing current.

Aimless: With no plan I rode slowly toward the coffee joint I always go to for a caffeine charge. I took my coffee back to a shady spot near the mangroves and contemplated the meaning of life, death and whatever it is I am supposed to be doing with my time, energy and physical presence on this planet. At this point it seemed a pretty pathetic failure of an experiment and I was wondering if it might be time to consider taking finding the exit ramp. 

Feathers of a raptor for freedom and flight

Inspiration: I scanned my phone for some kind of inspiration, looking at social media usually confirms the worst of my doubts... Odd things can happen! Two notifications appeared with links to a couple of lifesavers. Just some reflective writing and images from a couple of creative people it didn't take much... "...Never forget babe, you are the creator of your life"

Contemplation: I sat another 10 minutes, sipping the coffee, listening to the quiet sound of ripples through the mangrove, the smell of hot wet sand and mud. Glancing at the tree above me birds were darting about extracting nectar from occasional inflorescence. Dry leaves for a mat. I had relaxed, I have become calm and centered in my space. My restlessness and distressed mind was calm.


Connection: Finishing my coffee I mounted the long beast of a bike that is my cruising machine. All is right with the universe. "I am one with the force, the force is with me". Right, off we go.


Purpose: Rolling slowly along the path, still not sure what I should do with my day I passed a car that was covered in dust. it bore the words rubbed into the dust of the windscreen. "Clean Me!" Well OK. That seems reasonable. So I went off to Dollars and Cents got a bucket and some cloths, filled the bucket at the servo and returned to start the cleaning. It turned out that I needed much more than one bucket of water to clean this filthy car. Not a single tap in the area had a handle on it. They were all 'vandal proofed'. 

Company: I made a trip to the hardware shop for a tap master key. On my way there I saw Trev. the Rubbish Warrior. We had a bit of a yarn, walked together for a while until we arrived at the bottle recycle depot, I left him there and went back to my work. 

 
Completion: It must have taken about 10 buckets of water and over a couple of hours from woe to go but I eventually completed the task. The car was clean(er). I felt an overwhelming desire to chuckle, and cycled on with a big grin on my face. I commit random acts of cleaning therefore I am.
(Maybe I should have left this story untold but it was a funny thing to do, it amused me and I felt like I'd left at least one part of the world a little better than I found it)

Exploring: I turned the rig around and headed back toward the coast. Tide was really far out. 'What next oh great Spirit?' I looked to the sea, there is a tiny island sand spit with mangroves and a puddle that is only accessible at times like this... OK. Next adventure.

After picking my way through the mud, hopping across rocks I arrived at sand spit island. It's a quiet little oasis usually submerged. When the tide is out it's like a private beach surrounded by a moat of, yes, 'mud and rock'. 

Giving and taking: Looking back toward the northern Suburbs I could see smoke rising. Another fire! A big one. By now the time was about 1:30. I blasted home full speed, had a shower, put on some fresh clothes and rode to the Blood bank where I gave up 902ml of amber plasma, chatted with the nurses, watched a comedic film then ate cake and biscuits in air conditioned comfort.  

I sat there in the bloodbank, feeling totally at ease with myself. 

Summary: It had been a long day, I had observed the capricious extremes of my fickle emotional stability so easily affected by environment and the chemical reactions of my biology. Cycling miles eases my restlessness, sitting purposefully doing nothing settles my mind, doings something I feel is useful helps me gain perspective between the irrational fluctuations of my monkey mind and the capacity of my body to manifest change in the material world around me.

Final Act: Riding home I noticed the giant smoke plume hadn't diminished. Like any thing of such a scale regardless of it's ferocity of the harm it threatens, its enormity has weight, gravity. It draws the curious toward it. I followed the plume to Northlakes and Marrara Golf Course and could see the flames licking at the fence, smoke and flames rising like a tsunami, Shiva dances over the canopy. The roaring thunder of dry fuel consumed by flame. Late dry season fires are a bitch! 

Thank you oh lord for this day, one day, just a day. My day on this earth, should it end now so be it.